Who Are You Without Dieting?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How would you feel if food wasn’t such a priority in your life, both physically and emotionally?

Your first reaction may be- Great! I feel free!

But,not so fast…

When you take comfort out of your life, it brings up a lot of emotions and even feelings of loss.

Where is my reward? Where is my comfort? 

The truth is food is not the only reward or comfort you have. It is a skill that needs to be learned.

I will help you get over the hump, change your habits and still get comfort and rewards.

So how do you do this?

 First thing we need to figure out is what else feels good and brings you comfort other than food? 

I will help you today to start changing your mind-frame and habits.

Step 1:  Create a list of activities that you find enjoyable.

These new activities may not feel like they will be enjoyable at the weight you are currently at, but still put it on the list!

Pick 10 activities you think you may get enjoyment from.

It may be knitting, pedicures, walking, golf, ping-pong, going out with friends, painting.

If you are struggling to come up with idea, feel free to reach out here and I can send you a list of hundreds of ideas I give to my clients. Contact me here

Step 2 : Break down the list into two columns

Your first list are activities you would consider doing now and the second list are activities you would do if you were a bit thinner.

I do believe you can do any of them at any weight, but I want you to feel comfortable, so divide the list.

Step 3 : Pick one to start

So you have your list now. Pick one activity that doesn’t feel too daunting and start doing it. Let’s incorporate this into your life. At this point it’s not a replacement for emotional eating, it’s just to start developing new positive habits without food being your only tool.

Step 4: Do it 6 times

It is important to give the activity a fair shot. It’s unrealistic to expect you will do it once and love it.

Give it a fair shot and try it 6 times to see if you get the hang of it and remember do not compare it to the feeling food gives you.

Step 5 : Notice what positive feelings you get and which you may be lacking that food gives you

Now that you have given it a fair shot, notice how you feel about it. Do you get some enjoyment? Do you feel like you accomplished something?

As I mentioned above, do not compare this to the feeling food gives you, they are very different! Our goal is to get you to feel something positive from other things and not just rely on food.

Along with the positive, it’s even more important to notice what you feel you are missing! Notice what you feel still needs emotional or physical nurturing.

You may have picked an active hobby and chances are if you are having a sad day, you will need something on the more soothing side.

Step 6: Now pick one for each emotion

Go back to your list and pick an activity for each emotion. If you are feeling sad you may want a bubble bath! If you are feeling angry you may want to punch a punching bag. Once you have the hang of the first activity, start implementing new ones in your life slowly.

Step 7: Write out what it would feel like to connect to this activity instead of turning to food.

This doesn’t mean you are always going to do it, but lets try it out and see how you feel. Even if you delay turning to food, that is a perfect start!

You are on the path to stop turning to food for comfort and breaking the emotional eating cycle.

Want to get off the diet roller coaster, stop eating emotionally, and lose weight?  Get my Emotional Eating Toolkit.

Natalie Shay is a Psychotherapist and Life Coach specializing in emotional eating. She struggled with her own weight for 20 years. She finally learned to stop dieting and lost 75 lbs. In 2007 she became a Registered Psychotherapist to help emotional eaters stop turning to food for comfort and lose weight without dieting. She helps support her clients and guides them to meet their goals to stop dieting and start living.
Natalie can be reached here

How To Stop Eating Your Feelings

When was the last time you were angry or frustrated with somebody you love?  It happens to most of us all the time. The more important question is how do you handle it?

Their is a big difference with people who communicate effectively and people who struggle with communication.  If you comfort yourself with food after a yelling match or suppress your feelings with food right away, you are probably an emotionally eater.

I’ll teach you to communicate in a non-confrontational way and avoid using food to manage

 Take a look at this example:

You prepared dinner for your husband and he comes home an hour late.  It annoys you because you worked hard to prepare it and he didn’t bother to even let you know he would be late. You’re worked up and turn to your comforts of food.

As soon as he walks through the door, you say, “I can’t believe you are so late! I made dinner for you and you couldn’t even bother to come home on time!” He immediately responds with, “I can’t believe that you are yelling at me! I have had a long day and I don’t want to hear this from you right now!” He then storms out of the room.

In this example, you, the wife, are communicating aggressively and ineffectively, perpetuating an angry and defensive response from him. You are also sitting with the stress and anger and probably are turning to an easy comfort… food.

Now consider this…How you can sit with your feelings and then communicate more effectively in a way that doesn’t cause him to become so defensive and you to get more angry?

 

This is how you can communicate your feelings in a positive way without turning to food.

He’s late, notice you are getting worked up. You try to call him and he doesn’t answer. Take 10 deep breaths.  Instead of going for food, consider writing him a note saying you stepped out and will be back or going upstairs and taking a hot bath.

He arrives home an hour late.  When he walks in you say, “Hi, I have to tell you when you come home late, it upsets me because I spend a long time preparing dinner and I need you to let me know when you are going to be late so I don’t sit around and wait for you.” He responds by saying “I’m sorry that I’m late honey. Next time, I will let you know when I’m running late.”

In this example, you have taken a simplistic and much more effective approach. You have calmly explained to him why you were angry and how he can avoid upsetting you in the future. Given the way you approached the situation, he understood and responded with an apology as opposed to reacting defensively and aggressively. 

To implement the approach, you just need to follow three simple steps, which can be referred to as the WIN formula:

1.     When you did this:

The first step is to identify the “when”; you must explain the timing of the situation and the facts. Instead of yelling at the person that you are upset with, you should calmly explain to him or her when it is that you became upset and the facts surrounding the situation.  This will demonstrate that you are willing to resolve the problem as opposed to merely looking for a fight.

2.  I felt this:

The second step is to express how the person’s actions made you feel. By approaching the situation in a positive and pleasant manner, as opposed to yelling at the person, he or she is more likely to listen to what you have to say rather than blocking it out.  This will surely yield a more desirable result.

3. Need you to do this: 

The third and final step is to express to the other party what you need from them in the future to ensure that this type of a situation is not replicated.  This is the preventative aspect of the formula. 

Learning how to effectively communicate can be quite easy. Applying the WIN formula will allow you to express your feelings in a more meaningful way and will undoubtedly produce better results.  Ultimately, your relationships with your friends, family members and significant others will prove to be stronger and less strained if you commit to following the WIN formula. 

The benefit of communicating is to build a healthy relationship, but the main goal is that you don’t turn to food to suppress your feelings. This tool is one of the most effective ways to communicate. Start putting it into place and feel free to reach out if you need any further support.

Want to get off the diet roller coaster, stop eating emotionally, and lose weight?  Get my Emotional Eating Toolkit.

Natalie Shay is a Psychotherapist and Life Coach specializing in emotional eating. She struggled with her own weight for 20 years. She finally learned to stop dieting and lost 75 lbs. In 2007 she became a Registered Psychotherapist to help emotional eaters stop turning to food for comfort and lose weight without dieting. She helps support her clients and guides them to meet their goals to stop dieting and start living.
Natalie can be reached here

Are You Ready To Stop Emotional Eating and Lose Weight?

You know that feeling when you feel disgusted with yourself for eating too much ? You tell yourself “This Monday will be different! I am going to stick to a new diet?”

So how do you know if you’re ready to start making permanent change?

What is the difference between this Monday and the 10 other times you have started a new diet again?

Is it different because you’re so ashamed of yourself that you’re motivation is the reason it will work this time?

Well, I am going to tell you that self-hatred does NOT get you to your goals of losing weight!

I am going to teach you how to make this the last time you start a new diet!

So lets get cracking.

Here are 5 questions to answer to figure out if you are ready to lose weight ….

1. Why do you want to lose weight?

Write out your reasons; make sure they are not just superficial. By this I mean if your goal is to fit into a certain pair of pants and that is your main motivation- that is not a good enough reason.

Sure that can be one of the goals! But deeper goals are the ones that are in your heart. Here are some examples.

 

·      My health is suffering.

·      I want to get off certain medications.

·      I want to teach my kids good habits.

·      To stop myself up emotionally with food.

 

Journal all your feelings and highlight your top 3-5 reasons that are truly motivating

2. How much do you want to lose?

It is important to have goals, but have realistic goals. So pick 5 benchmarks to focus on. Write out what you believe it will feel like every time you hit a benchmark.


So, let’s say you weigh 240lbs. Your first benchmark may be to lose 10 pounds.

What would losing 10lbs do for you? What would if feel like to reach that first benchmark? How will that get you closer to the motivations you created?

This will help keep you feeling accomplished and on track.

 

3. Write out what food offers you

Many client come in my office and tell me they do not get much from food. When you dig deeper you will recognize you get something positive out of eating. What does food offer you?

For example:

·      It t may soothe you

·      It could distract you from deeper emotions

·      It may be your reward at the end of the day

 

These are just a few, think of 5 things that food offers you!

 

4. How is your self-care?

Everyone has a different view of what self-care is. So I will ask you some more specific questions…

·      Do you get enough sleep at night?

·      Do you have some time for yourself daily ?

·      Do you get time with your friends?

·      Do you share household responsibilities?

 

Be honest with yourself.  I understand you are busy and self-care sometimes becomes lower on the priority list, but without self-care it is very hard to reach your goals.

This also may be something you need to learn.  Most of my clients are hardworking people that don’t have time to self-care. If this sounds like you, it's going have to become a priority for you.

5. What are your eating patterns and habits now?

You may have a hard time answering this. Over the next 7 days write down the patterns you recognize. The more aware you are of them, the easier it is to change them.

So, are ready to start making changes and lose the weight?

These questions are the first step to helping you start to make changes and get off the diet rollercoaster.

Let’s start making permanent changes!

I would love to hear from you! Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!

Want to get off the diet roller coaster, stop eating emotionally, and lose weight?  Get my Emotional Eating Toolkit.

Natalie Shay is a Psychotherapist and Life Coach specializing in emotional eating. She struggled with her own weight for 20 years. She finally learned to stop dieting and lost 75 lbs. In 2007 she became a Registered Psychotherapist to help emotional eaters stop turning to food for comfort and lose weight without dieting. She helps support her clients and guides them to meet their goals to stop dieting and start living.
Natalie can be reached here