Everywhere you turn you are bound to find a thinner woman. You know those women who are a size 2 and look as though they stepped out of a catalog? Well, I am sure that doesn’t make you feel very attractive.
As you work on your goals of managing your emotional eating, it is important to still like yourself. When I was at my highest weight I could only shop at plus size stores. I dreaded having to get a new outfit. I wanted to hide and felt very unattractive. (read my story here)
I would go home after shopping and cry. I wanted to go into a store like Artizia and fit into a trendy outfit.
I learned that in order to lose weight and reach my goals, I had like the way I looked. I knew I didn’t love every part of me, but I had to become friends with myself and stop being my worst enemy.
So I started making changes.
I decided that through this process of overcoming my emotional eating I would fill my toolbox with helpful tools to start feeling more attractive.
Here is what I did to feel more attractive as an overweight woman
1. Start writing it down
I found this very hard and struggled with this exercise. I wrote down the emotional attributes quite easily, but then I got to my physical attributes.
I remember, I was only able to write down two physical attributes I liked: my eyes and my nose. So I tried a bit harder and I looked closer.
2. Grab a mirror and take a closer look
I grabbed a mirror, the more I looked at myself the more I found things I kind-of liked. I realized, I liked my feet, my ears, and my skin complexion. Soon I had a list of 10 parts of body I liked.
3. Notice the negative things you say.
If you are speaking meanly to yourself, you are not going to feel very attractive. Start noticing what you say and any names you call yourself. Write down the first 10 negative things you say to yourself.
4. Turn the negative into positive
Beside each negative statement write a positive one about yourself .
Here is an example that may help
“I am fat!” Cross that off. You can switch it to “I have beautiful features. I like my eyes and I am working on the parts I want to improve.”
5 .Take a true friend shopping with you
My friend Janet was excited to go shopping with me. I never felt judged by her. She loved shopping and picked things out for me. She was excited and complemented me when I came out of the change room. I started to see that things did look pretty on me.
Pick one person that accepts your size and makes you feel attractive. Take that person shopping with you.
6. Surround yourself with less judgmental people
Your gut tells you when people are judging you, even without them having to saying anything. Follow your gut. If you feel better around some people then others, spend more time in their presence as you work through this.
Remember, Your weight does not make you unattractive, your mind-frame does. Start taking these steps to feel more attractive at whatever size you are.
Want to get off the diet roller coaster, stop eating emotionally, and lose weight? Get my Emotional Eating Toolkit.
Natalie Shay is a Psychotherapist and Life Coach specializing in emotional eating. She struggled with her own weight for 20 years. She finally learned to stop dieting and lost 75 lbs. In 2007 she became a Registered Psychotherapist to help emotional eaters stop turning to food for comfort and lose weight without dieting. She helps support her clients and guides them to meet their goals to stop dieting and start living.
Natalie can be reached here