3 Steps to Stop Hurting Yourself with Food

One thing I notice all emotional eaters have in common is that when we turn to food, we then get mad at ourselves for to turning to food.

We shame, guilt and attack ourselves for eating.

The truth is that food is not the problem. When we look deeper, we see that food is just the tool we are using to try and cope with whatever is going on in our lives or in that moment.

Imagine a tool box. Now imagine it filled only with hammers. If you kept reaching for a hammer whenever you needed to fix something, you wouldn’t get very far. You would obviously need a screwdrivers, wrenches, a drill, and any number of other tools. You get the picture.

Same goes for our coping tools. We have learned to fill our toolbox up with food. What we really need is to support ourselves in new ways, and fill up our toolbox with new supportive tools.

So let’s stop hurting ourselves with food and beating ourselves up about it.

Here are 3 steps to stop hurting yourself with food: 

1)    Stop attacking yourself and go ahead and thank food.

Sounds strange, doesn’t it? You have spent this long beating yourself up for turning to food. Let’s take a step back and observe what is going on. Can we take a minute to thank if for being here for us? It has allowed us to get this far when we have not had any other tools to cope.

2)    Let’s start noticing what is going on underneath the need for food.

Can you notice what you are feeling and what needs you are trying to meet? See if you can set a timer for 5 minutes and notice the feelings that are needing your attention. Are you sad? Angry? Bored? Frustrated? Let’s feel the feelings and honor what comes up. 

3)    Let’s meet the need that stemmed the feeling with some self-care.

After you’ve sat with the feeling let’s work with it. If you are sad, what would it be like to put on music that resonates with you and write out your feelings? Not what you “should” feel but your true feelings?

If you are angry, what would it be like to punch a pillow and release some of that anger?

What about bored? What would it be like to acknowledge you’re bored and notice what you need and honor it without judgment? Maybe call a friend? Or go for a walk?

This is not a replacement for using food. I would suggest if you still want to eat to support yourself after you try this, go for it! Nobody is taking food away from you.

When we can start allowing ourselves to have feelings without judgement, that’s when food will drop away from being the main focus and taking over. Over time, taking these steps will fill up your toolbox with new ways to support yourself so you can stop hurting yourself with food.