The Myth of the Diet and Emotional Eating
Did you have big plans to lose weight during those first few months of quarantine? When all the personal trainers and yoga instructors were flooding our feeds with free workouts and quarantine smoothies. This one’s for you. There was the spirit of the January diet in the air. The energy and optimism of new beginnings was infectious. We were all going to leave our homes with rock hard abs, wearing our favourite jeans from high school, but then after a few weeks you start to feel like you’re walking on a tightrope. Eventually, this inevitably led to binging in front of Netflix.
Looking back at Januarys past, with lessons learned, I was always left with sadness, shame and guilt. I promised myself I would try again every Monday, but this story played out over and over again for years. So, let’s revisit some of these important lessons, and be easier on ourselves right now, when we need to most.
I have been an emotional eater all my life. I used food to soothe. I used it to curb boredom. I ate when I was happy, and when I was sad. You name the emotion - I turned to food.
Before I had the tools to nurture myself and heal my relationship with food, my weight would fluctuate by up to 80 lbs. People I meet now often assume that since I am a psychotherapist who specializes in emotional eating, I must know how to treat myself.
I’m here to tell you, I do emotionally eat! We all do. Though, I no longer hurt myself with food the way I used to. However, I do get pleasure from food. Emotional eating is all about why you eat, and which emotions you are suppressing. This is why trying to stick to a strict diet that is all about deprivation just doesn’t work.
Here are my Top 5 Tips to Get Over Emotional Eating
1. You Don’t Need to be Perfect
Let’s start practicing self compassion. None of us are perfect, and we do not need to “fix” anything.
Let’s just make an effort to notice how you speak to yourselves:
When that harsh critical voice comes out, bring out some self compassion.
Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend who was struggling:
“Wow, this is really hard”
2. Notice Which Emotions You are Suppressing
Try to be in tune with which emotions you are suppressing. To do this, take ten breaths before going for the food and notice what you feel.
3. Take stock of what supports you have besides food
If food is the only tool in your toolbox? That’s ok! We want to start with where you are at. Write down what supports you have in place and what new supports you can think of. Here are some examples:
calling a friend
going for a walk
getting a manicure
This does not have to replace the food. What we want to do is add it in before you go for the food. If you need some ideas, get in touch! I have plenty of suggestions.
4. Add in Regular Intervals of Self Care
Make sure you’re planning some time to focus on your needs. This may be 20 minutes during your lunch break or an hour after work. Whatever it is, do something for you. If you are not sure what to do, write out some things that bring you joy.
5. Be Nice to Yourself
Being an emotional eater isn’t easy. Oftentimes people can see when we are struggling because it shows in the way our bodies fluctuate. Let’s start being gentle on ourselves and our bodies. We cannot heal our relationship with food while punishing ourselves. Be kind to yourself! Don’t be afraid to give yourself the support you need.